it's always the algorithm that gives you away and that algortude to pair and the way you needed me suddenly that night after you dedicated it to us and we ended strong and you just wanted that late night feel but without her you couldn't imagine her so you wanted me but I was locked away where you normally keep me
she wasn't asking and you were distracting by doing and I thanked you for choosing me and you did and then when it turned late and I turned in as Friday nights are reserved, typically your loneliness expanded and though you didn't need me you wanted me to fill some space where she was absent
I didn't
tears, the following day weakness, admittedly – of which you never mention which never occurs looking back, she hurt you and she moved on and maybe it hurt, too, that your closest two truly closest were unreachable
I didn't know, truly I felt it as you prying like a friend afraid to be alone but I didn't realize the devastation I didn't realize you had been dumped I needed to pick you up
the hat, so I didn't see your tears? the hat the nervous looks the way you sat broken the way I thought you were harboring a child the way you were harboring a goodbye you likely tasted before you felt it
I hear you singing
and I had been
she is sleeping
and she had been
and there you landed in the middle with your thoughts and the lack of distraction and the hat
the next day you would say I abandoned you in the living room but I'm always in my room, the living room at best not abandoned, I'm told still, I'm singing
you'll hear me singing
we'll be singing, someday
today, I heard you singing.
beautiful, blessed, love of my life
my heart aches for your aching.
'maybe she did... did she?” in regards to you two doing face masks together, after I asked, hours ago.the tone of your voice swung upwards, as a question, near the end of the sentence.
“did she what?”
“no, I don't think she did. I thought maybe she wanted to do face masks that night”
“what night?”
“the night when I was in her bed.”
my heart aches for your aching. we both know. I will do everything I can to heal this. my heart aches for my own aching. I have been able to do nothing to that end.
“the night when I was in her bed”
did you or did you not do masks well I know but I love you
“when I was in her bed”
in her bed
her bed